News Roundup – Square Root Day Special

It’s square root day! And that doesn’t come around very often.

To start us off, Ginny Brown-Waite, Republican congresswoman from Florida, had this to say about Tim Geithner, “Every time a statement is issued by you, the stock market plummets.” Yikes! We don’t know whether to call that “negative” or “depressin”.

Meghan McCain, the daughter of the presidential candidate, is having trouble finding boys. Not in attracting them, but in finding one who measures up to her own exacting standards. What are they? Well, you can’t have voted for Obama, and you can’t be a rabid Republican. Hm… That just about rules out everyone but the Nader or Barr voters.

Ladies, are you reevaluating your priorities on the dating market given the current economic downturn? Willing to settle for big bucks over a real personality? Well, Melinda Gates is here to tell you that marrying for money isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. She let slip: “Every now and then I look at my friends and say ‘Ooh, I wouldn’t mind having that iPhone.’” Ouch! Steve Jobs circa ‘95 doesn’t look too bad now, eh?